The Other Half Of Me
by xjadedjoy
Summary: What happens when the other half of your soul is painfully ripped from your life?
1. Pain is an understatement

**I own nothing.  
****_Italics _are flashback moments.**

**Just breathe.  
The midnight air will do you well.  
I miss your taste, I miss your smell.  
I'll ask the nurse for bandages.  
Don't send me on my way.  
Rescue me from everything.  
I just want to live.  
I wish I could breathe.  
****I've seen the worse case scenario,  
and i'm slowly letting go.**

* * *

I sit here. Just sit here. Using every single ounce of my strength to concentrate on my breathing, try to get it normal for once. It hasn't been normal since. My breathing is irregular and painful. Every breath I take hurts.

I look across the porch, not really focusing on anything. Looking but never seeing. If I do see, it's just _her face._ The beautiful blonde hair and those lips that finally mesmerized my soul. Mesmerized me way too many times in the month she was mine.

Because here I sit my arms crossed over my chest, my chin on my knees, thinking of valuable, corny but loving reasons of why she just left me. Of why she did this to me, to my family, to her mom. But most of all me. I wonder if she feels any pain, too. As much as I love her, I can't help but feel angry towards her. She tore me in half and now i'll never be the same.

I breathe, my concentrating breaking as my chest hitches and the breath comes out wavery. I feel my eyes fill up with water. I'm crying again. I'm always crying. It's all her fault. I'll _always_ be crying. But maybe this is revenge for that one time I made her cry. That one I - my throat becomes painfully tight and my chest hitches again.

I will _not_ go there. I love her so much, I can't get over her. But I don't love myself, and I can be angry at her but that's just a layer. I'm purely outraged at myself. I can't even look at myself anymore. The mirrors in my room are covered with blanket and jackets. The only clothes I wear are Hannah's because it doesn't remind me of myself. Of the stupid, blind screw-up I am.

I wish I did something earlier, maybe she would still be here. Just a couple hours earlier and everything could've been perfect like it's meant to be. But I decided too late. I decided, that's just it. I knew ever since I met her. But I _decided_. I grip my chest harder, feeling my nails dig into skin. But not taking notice of the the pain because the pain in my soul and heart beats it. And it won't go away. The pain won't go away.

I _let_ her walk away, after all the confusion and pain. I let her walk away. After I got a taste of pure bliss. I let her walk away. Because I believed her. But I didn't. I just decided I did. After I learned that you can actually get lost in somebody eyes. I let her walk away.

_"I'm holding you back, Miley. You need this. I'm just holding you back. After what I did, I can't hold you back. I'm just trouble." She had both her hands on my face and it wasn't until the warmth of her hands left my face, did I remember how to speak._

_"No Lilly! You can't say that. I need you here, you'd be holding me back if you left. You did it for me!" She took a step back, a tear running down her face. _

_"My point exactly! I did it for you! We're lucky you weren't Hannah." I was about to cut in but I found my lips moving in perfect symmetry with hers. "Listen to me. We -" I cut in again._

_"Lilly, no! You listen to _me._" Then I got lost in her eyes again. Her next words were nothing but reassuring._

_"Please, Miley. I'll go live with my dad. Everything that will happen will eventually just disappear. But for that to happen I need to disappear..."_

Stop. I need to stop. She did. She did disappear. I shouldn't have believed her. I should have _never_ believed her.

_"Miley?" I jumped. I was surprised to turn around and find Lilly standing in Hannah's closet. I thought I messed everything up. "Please, was that letter true?" I dropped the shirt that was in my hand. She was never meant to find that. I gulped._

_"Yes." She was moving slowly towards me but she was smiling as she put her hands on my cheeks._

_"Miley Rae Stewart, you should've just told me. What I said was true. I do love you more than a friend. I'm in love with you. That letter was everything I ever wanted to see, but everything I ever wanted to hear, I still haven't. Please, just say it." I gulped again, then I hugged her, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist._

_"I'm in love with you too, Lilly." I whispered into her ear._

But that was two months ago. It's been a month since she left. I haven't heard from her. Her mother won't give me her or her father's number. She doesn't want me to find her.

I've been looking. Hannah's been looking. But she doesn't want me to find her.

_"I'm in love with you Miley. I'm so in love with you."_

She forever branded those words into my soul, into my being. I have to keep repeating her words into my head, I have to keep hearing her voice when she said, a voice that was full of love, whispering those words so softly in my ear. I have to keep repeating or else i'll start thinking she didn't really love me. Her love is the only thing keeping me alive, if I start thinking that, i'll die.

I hear the door open and I feel my dad sit down next to me on the couch. I don't look at him. He starts running his hand through my hair. His love helps me, but nothing can save me. He may be able to pull me half way out of this dark hole, but i'll never get all the way back out.

"Hey, bud." He says.

"Hey, dad." I reply, not even faking the pain in my voice anymore, but I don't want to hurt him. This isn't his problem, it's mine and mine solely. I get up and walk upstairs, saving him from my pain.

I wish I could love again. I hardly feel any love anymore, it only glimmers when Jackson or Dad is around. Somebody stole, ravagely took all the love from me. She took it that day I woke up, wearing my heart on my sleeve, only to turn it into an easy target. I was going to apologize for yelling at her. It was when I decided too late.

But I didn't get the chance to apologize or even to try to change her mind. I sobbed violently in her mom's arms before fainting of shock on her front step.

And i'm still not over the shock.

How will I _ever_ get over the shock?

How does _anyone_ get over your first true love just disappearing with nothing, not even an explanation farther then 'because I have to, for you', she even left her mom baffled.

Please, just tell me how.

I lock my door before sinking onto my bed and sobbing violently, still gripping the skin above my heart, gripping it harder until drops of blood appears around my nails. I can't believe I can still bleed. I'm_ positive_ she ripped my heart - no, my soul out. That's why when I look in the mirror, I only see a shadow of my former self. All I see now is untamed hair, darker clothes, covering every inch of my body. Dark, dark circles under this girl's eyes and a face that starting to droop at only 17. I remember the day I met Lillian Truscott and now wish I never had. If we never became friends, we would have never became lovers.

But I lied. She has always been my best friend and she always will be. Even though she's not here now, I still ask myself 'what would Lilly think?'. The month we were one was the best month of my whole entire existence. It was a month of pure, unmistakable _bliss_. The years before, when we were just friend, were years I wouldn't take back. We did everything together. I don't know how to do anything without her.

But now she's gone. And now all I feel is pure, unmistakable _pain_. It just rolls off my lips, like it was meant to be there. Like I thought I was meant to be with Lilly. Pain.

It's what I think about every minute of every day. Pain. It's what i'm thinking about now as I fall into a deep, nightmarish sleep.

Pain.


	2. Finding A Reason

**Just call my name out loud.  
Just call my name when it feels like your slipping away.  
We're battered and broken.  
These words are spoken in despair.**

**Every other day,  
I sit and wait for the same bad news.**

**Someone, please start making sense.**

* * *

A month and I haven't seen the glow in my daughter's eyes since the morning she woke up and found Lilly gone.

Then it got tragically worse, she's hardly talked to anyone unless she was Hannah, using clues and little hints on talk shows to Lilly.

But she slowly shattered; now she doesn't even go outside. Jackson and I only get an occasional 'hey.' She won't even _see_ Oliver, anymore. The boy doesn't even come over. He would just get ignored when he knocked on her door anyway. She just stays locked in her room.

I treasure every moment she's outside her room. Which is only if she wants something to eat, drink and the occasional times she'll sit on the swing.

I finish putting dinner on the table, grabbing a plate and filling it with food. I learned the hard way this is the only way she'll eat more than just a bite of something.

"Jackson, Miley, dinner is ready!" I call up the stairs, seeing Jackson come running into the kitchen only seconds later. We both sit down; he fills me in about how much worse Rico is getting at work. 10 minutes into the conversation and Miley comes shuffling in, shoulders slumped, her clothes hanging loosely on her, same attire. A hoodie and jogging pants, today the hoodie's black and the jogging pants are a light gray.

My heart squeezes painfully as I turn my gaze away from her, as it was rising to the blank stare that I don't want to see.

"Hey, little sister." She looks at Jackson and nods slightly before grabbing her plate.

"Hey, Jackson." I look at my son at the same time he looks at me and worry plagues his features as his eyes recite over again, 'what do we do?'

I wish I had an answer but until we find Lilly, there is no answer. I watch her walk away, pain tugging at my heart as I wish for her light footsteps to return, instead of that irritating scuffling. She turns right before she disappears around the corner to the staircase.

"Thanks, dad." I curse myself for looking at her face. A chill runs up my spine, like it does every time I see her eyes. There's nothing in them. Her voice is dead. After two weeks of denying it, she finally mourned Lilly. To my daughter, Lilly is dead. She starts walking again, without even waiting for an answer.

"Your welcome, sweetheart." I yell at the now empty air where she was previously standing.

After dinner, I call Heather, again, only to hear the tears in her voice as I hear the same story, replaying itself again. I replay it in my head, still not fully believing it. Only because I don't want to believe it.

Lilly told Heather she was leaving, then packed a suitcase and hugged a yelling Heather, walking out the door and speeding out the driveway in her car, Heather said she was still yelling after her daughter even after all the dust she picked up disappeared. Lilly's father checks in at least once a week, with news that Lilly is alive and healthy, but not well. He describes Lilly exactly how I would describe Miley.

I just don't understand these two girls.

"_Mr. Stewart?" I turned around startled. "I am _so_ sorry. I never meant to cause your family harm." I crossed my arms and glared at the 17 year-old in front of me, wishing time to turn back, when they thought of cootie shots. _

"_You did." I said simply but anger was etched into my words. Her eyes filled up with tears._

"_I know and that's why I'm leaving. You don't even have to worry about me anymore."_

"_That's a good idea." Lilly nodded, slowly turned around and walked back outside._

I shake my head, ridding it of that thought. I apologized. I don't know what I was thinking, but I now know Lilly is all Miley wants. It's kind of funny how nobody saw, not even themselves, how much they belong together until they were 17.

But that's usually the age when kids start thinking of nothing but love. I smiled as I thought of my wife's face.

I know that's when I first thought of love.

I picked up the remote, only to throw it back down again. The TV is something I'm going to stray away from. Every news and talk show is asking about Hannah and most of it is bad. I don't need to hear that.

Lilly should of never left. Everything that happened would've eventually just been forgotten, give it another month, especially if she was here and no one would remember the incident.

Everyone except me. Everything is my fault, I know this and now I can't fix it.

The first reason this is my fault is because I stopped talking to Miley, for two long days after I found them kissing. But it only took two days to see that they belonged together. I can't stand my daughter like this. Miley and Lilly need to be together as long as Lilly is alive.

I went through this once; Miley shouldn't have to, especially when Lilly is alive.

The other reason this is my fault is because Lilly overhead my ranting, ranting that said I was going to beat that guy into a coma, so she did it for me. But thankfully he didn't actually end up in a coma, just in the hospital for two weeks.

I smiled at that. He deserved it. My fist tightens around the arm of the couch as I remember her scream of terror, the utter shock in her eyes as I walked in to find a sleazy guy slamming her against the wall, a knife at her throat.

"_You didn't need anymore trouble. I seem to cause a lot of trouble to you lately."_

I shuddered as I remembered Lilly's words. That guy was after her, that guy being a 20 year old she hooked up with when Miley broke her heart, after Lilly's confession.

My smile stays on my face as I think of the way she confidently relayed her emotions with me, after I realized Lilly was all Miley wanted. I just wish she would do that now.

I walked up to Miley's room, leaning my ear against the door. My throat tightened as I heard the first emotion from her since 3 three weeks ago.

The soft whimpering, that sounded a lot like she was trying to hold _back_ tears.

I quickly pulled away, I jumped when I turned around to find Jackson leaning against the wall, I reveled in the emotions playing themselves out on his face.

"I just did that, too." His voice shook; I walked over and wrapped my arms around him. "I miss my sister, dad." A tear ran down my face. "Why isn't there anything we can do?"

"I don't know, son. I just don't know, anymore."


	3. Finally Changing Back

**The Other Half Of Me - Liley  
This part is in Lilly's mothers' point of view.  
The name of this story is _not_ a take from Hannah's song,  
it's Miley's and Lilly's love. They're two parts of one soul.**

**Maybe that will help you understand the story a little better.  
And it's not angsty all the way through, it will get less angsty next part.**

* * *

I smile as I remember Lilly's 17th birthday party. I remember as she blew out the candles, 17 and she still wanted a cake. Miley was at one side, Oliver on the other. I was standing in front of her, taking pictures. I was so proud of her. Of all the dreams that came true for her, everything she accomplished.

She had amazing grades. She was picking from 3 different premiere colleges, around here and I'm not going to complain, I'd love to see her grow up, see what she becomes. I was proud of the first place position in a skating competition. I was even proud when she finally confessed everything to her best friend. I was proud because she had enough faith in me to believe I wouldn't hate her because she was in love with a girl.

I remember my eyes flickering to said best friend and thinking of how oblivious Miley really was, then I couldn't help but want to tell her myself. I wanted to see the look on Lilly's face when her dream came true.

Lilly has some of her father's features, but she looks more like me and I thank God for that. She grew up as her own person, the manner and tough girl act courtesy of me, I never wanted her father to influence her but somehow he did.

He showed up again in my life, after I divorced him, the day Lilly left Miley with not much more than an explanation.

He broke my heart after choosing alcohol over me. Lilly broke Miley's heart, leaving her an empty shell. I saw what was coming; he drank more and more over a course of time. Miley didn't see it coming and I wish I could've saved her from the pain, but my own daughter caused her that pain.

I was broken, but I left him, changing my life, moving to LA, getting an extraordinary job and forgetting he was even in my life. I saw what Lilly did to Miley and it couldn't even compare to what that scumbag did to me.

_I notice Lilly not eating any of her breakfast, she's just staring at the food, fork in hand, head down, silent and still._

"_What's wrong, dear?" I ask and she looks up. I gasp, as I notice tears in her eyes. I stand up and walk over to her; she stands up and wraps her arms around me._

"_I called dad, mom. I'm sorry, but I have to leave." Then she unwraps her arms and kisses me on the cheek before jogging upstairs. I run over her words in my mind, but they don't sink in until I hear loud thumps coming from the stairs. I turn around and Lilly comes down them dragging a suitcase behind her and carrying a backpack on one shoulder._

"_Lilly!" I walk over to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She looks up, the tears now running down her face. "You can't just leave. Lilly –" She shrugs my hands off of her and walks around me. I watch her walk all the way to the door, shock coursing through me. My mind fighting for the right words in a limited amount of time._

"_I have to, mom." She says with her free hand on the doorknob. Time seems to slow down as I watch her hand turn the doorknob, then the door opens and I still can't find the right words._

"_What about Miley?" She stops with one foot out the door and turns her head towards me._

"_I don't know. I just don't know. My jealous mistake almost put her in the hospital. I can't be here anymore." Then time speeds up again as she walks out the door. I run over, watching her put her bags in her car. Watching her get in the drivers' side._

"_LILLIAN TRUSCOTT!" I scream, but it's useless, she speeds out the driveway, leaving me with the memory of how useless and broken she looked when she thought of Miley. _

_I had to of stand at the doorway for at least 30 minutes before I finally turned and sat back down at the kitchen table. Watching the cold breakfast food that was still on the table. I cried. The first time I've cried since I left the crude asshole that was my husband. I cried… sobbed for an hour, my head in my hands, still sitting at the kitchen table._

_I was finishing the dishes, after finally cleaning up the table when the doorbell rang. I answered, my throat already tightening as I saw her smile._

"_Miley…" I said, taking all my strength not to waver. It was painfully hard to say just her name, knowing what she was going to ask next._

"_Is Lilly here?" My eyes filled with water and she cocked her head, her hand flying to my arm. "Where is Lilly?" She asked with force, squeezing my arm. I shook my head, swallowing past a painful lump to get out the next words._

"_She's gone, Miley." Her eyes opened in shock, her other hand flew to my other arm, squeezing that one painfully tight, too._

"_Gone? She can't be gone. Please, tell me she'll be back later." I shook my head again, unable to speak. The hurt in her words more evident as she already knew the answer. Lilly told me they got in a fight and now I know what the fight was about. Lilly already told Miley she was leaving, Miley didn't believe her and a fight ensued. _

_Miley's mouth was hanging open, tears streaking down her face. Tears of my own started to copy hers. I just barely caught her as she fell to the ground; I pulled her to me as she started sobbing._

"_No, Lilly, no!" She yelled into my shoulder before she went silent altogether. I looked at her, shock the cause of her passing out. It was all to clear as she was shaking from head to foot in my arms. Yes, Miley, Lilly is gone. She was gone the moment Robbie, you and I found her sobbing in a corner, bat with blood near her feet and her ex-boyfriend groaning in the middle of the floor._

I shake my thoughts from that dark place. A lump in my throat forming, just thinking about her because Lilly is gone, my Lilly is gone.

I know she won't let my ex influence her, she a strong girl. I just hope she finally sees that we need her here. I was talking to Michael earlier today, he's still the same asshole I divorced, but he loves her and he knows how heart broken she is. He said he talked to her and she was getting better each day.

Right now I'm waiting for Robbie to call, I'm waiting for him to say that Lilly is back. I'm never been this anxious before in my life, not including when I was pregnant. I haven't even been this anxious when I was getting married.

The phone rings and its Robbie, he's telling me everything I've been waiting to hear for a month.

Lilly is back. She's at his house, talking to Miley. I hang up the phone, jumping up and down like a giddy schoolgirl.

I can't help but think if she can't fix this mess she created, no one will ever be the same. I can't wait for her to come home, to be in my arms and tell me how much she missed me, how much she missed being with Miley.

You'd think a mother would be mad that her daughter didn't come home first before going over to someone else's house, right? I laugh. I'd rather she go over there first, I don't want either her or Miley to end up like me, broken because the one that I thought I was supposed to be with didn't end up being with me.

I want her to have a little fairytale. I need to know she won't end up like her father.

I jump up and down again. It's been a month since I saw my daughter, I think I'll just go over there right now, Robbie did say it was all right.

I grab my keys and fly out the door. Trying to kick back the negative thoughts of everything will never be the same, your daughter will be changed, but I hold them down.

Everything _will_ be changed; this is going to make her an even better person than she already was.


	4. Amends

I ran up to her door, knocking automatically, forgetting about the father who would certainly be disappointed and angry with me but my heart was beating too rapidly to think of anything but her.

I just left her.

If he wants to yell at me, he would have to wait. I bounce from foot to foot, anticipation taking over my core. I replayed her face over and over in my head.

I can't believe I just left her.

_My father hung up the phone. He paused with his hand on the phone, just looking at it, then he sighed and slowly turned to me. There was something different about him. For one, I know if he doesn't leave now, he's going to be late for work. He __**hates**__ being late for work. He set down his briefcase and sat in the chair across from me, then sighed again, running a hand through his hair._

"_All this time at my house and I have no idea why you're here. Every time your mother calls, she sounds so casual, just checking up, so I kind of figured this was a visit, all these years and you just wanted to visit your dad." He looked up, staring right into my eyes. "But today, she's crying. She explains everything to me." I turn away from his gaze; he's waiting for me to say something._

"_I'm going for a walk." Is all I say before getting up._

"_I don't think so Lillian, please sit down." A month I've been staying at his place and he just starts using rules? But I do sit down. "It's becoming clear to me. The way you never smile, the way it always seem like your just acting like everything is fine. Your mother was hoping you'd just snap out of it, but when I told her the same explanation as every other call, she broke down. Your in denial, Lilly." My head snapped up. Denial? _

"_W-what? Denial for what? I'm __**not**__ in denial." I said with a glare, then I stood up, again._

"_Please, sit down." He said with force, and I did sit down, again. "I'm not going to let you just walk away from this. I made plenty of mistakes in my life and right now I'm trying to make up for them. Letting you walk out this door, without you explaining something, anything to me, would be another big mistake."_

"_I don't know what your talking about dad." I said just above a whisper. I kind of sounded like a scared child._

"_You can't get out of this. Your mother explained everything to me." I turned around slowly to look at him again. "Everything." I looked down at my clasped hands, starting to fidget with my thumbs._

"_I didn't want to cause more problems. He was already mad at me. I mean, after all, I was dating his little girl."_

"_You're talking about her father, right? There's a simple answer for that. I would've done the same thing. Watching someone come and wisk my little girl away, it's a little overwhelming. But from the sound of things, you guys were happy and if that person made my little girl happy, I would've got over it. I would've learned to love the person of her dreams, like she was my own." I looked at him. "He apologized to your mother the other day. He's sorry for what he did."_

"_Really?" He nodded his head._

"_Really. Now, when your mother called me, she asked for my help. I know she isn't very fond of me, so when she asks for my help, it's got to be big. __Lilly, no one's mad at you. I'm sure her father is actually grateful, I know I would be if my little girl was being attacked –"_

"_But it was my fault Miley was attacked! My ex-boyfriend attacked her!" I yelled at him. He just smiled and nodded his head._

"_So you told your ex-boyfriend to attack, Miley?" I looked at him. My mouth opened, then closed. I never thought of that._

"_No, I didn't." I said very slowly._

"_I didn't think so. So, if Miley didn't blame you, why do you think anyone else would?" I shook my head back and forth. "Lilly, this isn't your fault. You were just saving, Miley." __I looked at him. "Right?" _

"_Yeah, he had her pinned against the wall." He smiled wider._

"_But what is your fault is that you left Miley devastated, when she woke up to find you gone. Your mother explained to me what happened. She cried in her arms, until Miley just passed out, probably from shock. Which only makes me think she was completely in love with you, if your being gone is that shocking."_

"_She passed out from s-shock?" I asked, my eyes wide. He shook his head yes._

"_And now she barely eats, barely speaks." His words started getting harsher. "You broke her heart, Lilly. I don't even know the girl, but it's pretty obvious you were her everything. I feel bad for her and I'm just mad at you. What were you thinking leaving? You had no reason. She still loved you. Just because you knocked some sense into that guy, doesn't mean she's going to stop." My throat started getting tighter. There were tears in my eyes. He got up and wrapped his arms around me. I started sobbing. It really didn't hit me, it's like I was just blank this past month. Nothing mattered. I was just a blank shell. Blank. What he said hit me hard. _

"_Lilly, you might not believe me but after your mother left, it took me a while to figure out she wasn't going to come back. I stopped drinking when the realization hit me but it was too late and I now she's never going to come back to me. Don't let it be too late for you, Lilly. Miley still loves you. Go fix the mistake you just made."_

It took me only 20 minutes to get out of the house after that. 10 minutes to pack, 5 minutes to get the stuff in my car and then 5 to say goodbye to my father, the guy I now looked up to. I took a deep breath as I heard the footsteps. It's only been a minute since I knocked, but it feels like a lifetime.

Jackson opens the door. He just looks at me for a couple of seconds, blinking rapidly before his face contorts into an angry glare.

"You better fix this or I'm going to find a way to torture you for the rest of your life." Then he steps aside and I walk in. Mr. Stewart is leaning over the counter, looking like he already knew who was going to be at the door.

"Lilly." He says gently, but he also has the same glare as Jackson has on his face. "She's in her room." I hear Jackson close the door behind me, before he stomps over the couch. I take in a deep breath.

"I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean any harm. I just –"

"Lilly, apologize after you talk to Miley." He cuts in still glaring at me. I just look at him. " Go, now!" He points at the stairs and I nod my head before running up them, taking them two at a time.

I stop with my hand on her doorknob. I stare at her door. I listen for something but I hear nothing. I take a deep breath and turn the doorknob.

It's locked. I let out my breath in a whoosh. At least I definitely know she's in there. It's not like I didn't believe Mr. Stewart, but it's better if you find out for yourself. She's got to be sleeping. I knock, then listen. I hear nothing. I knock again. My heart beat speeds up and I still hear nothing. I knock, yet again.

This time I hear shuffling of feet. Then the click of the door lock. It's like time is going in slow motion as the door opens.

I suck in a deep breath at the site of her. My heart automatically jumping out of my chest. Her hair is in a messy, dirty bun. She's wearing gray sweatpants, no slippers. She usually wears slippers. She's wearing a black, zip-up hoodie, zipped up all the way to her neck.

"Miley." I say in an outtake of the breath I was holding in. She just blinks. Her face totally expressionless. Then she shrugged and shut the door again, but my hand flies out before it can shut all the way. Her eyes open wide at the same time her mouth drops open. She stares at my hand on the door. I take a step in. She takes a step back. Then her face turns expressionless. She shrugs again, before turning around and walking away.

You know that expression she had on her face a minute ago? Yeah, it's on mine now. I watch her lie on her bed, then curl up into a ball. I shake my head to get me moving, then slowly move towards her. I move around the bed, relieved when I see her staring at me. I sit down on the edge of the bed. She doesn't move, just a blink every now and then. I put my hand on her cheek.

She recoils, jumping back into a sitting position. I move onto the bed, sitting crossed leg in front of her.

"Miley. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but please forgive me. Please. What I did was stupid. Incredibly. I wasn't thinking." I reach out my hand slowly. Her eyes follow as I lay it on her own hand.

"Lilly?" She whispers softly, so softly I had to strain to hear her. She looks up from my hand, to look at me. "Is that really you?" I uncrossed my legs and crawled over to her, wrapping my arms around her body. I feel her go totally stiff.

"Yes, baby, I'm here." I whisper into her ear, putting as much love and want into those few words. I feel her relax into my hold. "I'm so sorry, Miley. I don't know what I was thinking but I do know I'm still completely in love with you." I feel her wrap her arms around my waist before she pulled back completely and punched me pretty hard in the arm. Then she pushed me, I went to reach for her, watching as tears started flooding her eyes but she pushed me again.

"You left me!" She screamed. I just moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her again, she kept on pushing, but I just held on tighter.

"I know, I know." I whispered into her ear. She stopped pushing me and wrapped her arms around my waist again. She pushed her face into the crook of my neck, and I felt a sob rip through her before I even felt the tears on my neck. "I am so sorry. You don't have to forgive me. Just know I'll never leave you again. Never." Another sob racked her small frame. I felt her arms grip tighter, her nails digging into my back. I didn't mind. I knew she was listening. She cried for at least 5 minutes before her shaking stopped.

"Say it, again." She said, the words muffled as her face was still pushed into my neck. It took me a second to realize what she meant.

"I love you, Miley." She raised her head; her eyes blood shot, tears staining her cheeks. I almost panicked when I felt her grip loosen. She only moved her hands onto my cheeks, moving my face towards hers.

Then she kissed me. My eyes closed as my body let out ravaging tingles. I went to put my hands in her hair, only to find it in a bun. I slowly pulled out her pony holder, fluffing her hair and running my hands through it. The kiss lasted forever. So long, that when we finally pulled apart for air, we were gasping.

"I am so –" She kissed me again.

"Just promise me you won't ever do it again." She said against my lips and I smiled.

"I promise." I said opening my eyes and staring into her extravagant green ones.

"Good. I'll never forgive you, Lillian. Never. But I'm still foolishly and completely in love with you, so I'm willing to let you make it up to me." I smiled wider and kissed her again, using my body to push her into the bed. I kissed her nose. I kissed her jaw line. I kissed her cheek. I kissed her ear.

"I love you so, much. I was so stupid." I whispered with passion into her ear.

"Yes, you were." I smiled. I could hear the smile in her own voice. My throat tightened up. Because I knew how long it's been since she smiled. Her voice even sounded a little cracked, like she hasn't spoken in a month. Maybe because she hasn't. I buried my face into her neck, trying to hold back the tears. She started rubbing her hands up and down my back.

"He hurt you. I can still remember the anger boiling up when I saw the finger marks around your neck. I wanted to throw up because I knew it was my fault. He was angry with you because of me. I didn't even think, I just remember pacing before I spotted the bat. Then I just stopped thinking. I grabbed the bat and ran out the door. Finding him where I found him the first time I ever saw him. 'Lilly' is all he said before I swung the bat right into his stomach. He fell completely backwards. He rolled around on the ground before he got up on his knees, holding his stomach. I swung again." I felt her grip on me tighten as a tear fell out of my eye. "I heard the crack of his arm as soon as the bat hit it. He grunted before falling limp." A sob escaped me. I was sobbing into Miley's neck.

"It wasn't your fault, Lilly. It was both of ours. _I'm_ the one who ran away when you told me truth. You just picked a crazy, psycho to get revenge with. It's both of our faults. Why didn't you just tell me this before you left?"

"I-I d-don't know." I said in between sobs. "Maybe because I already thought I caused enough trouble in your family. Your dad was already furious with me and - and, I just didn't want to cause any more trouble for you and your family."

I felt her kiss my temple.

"I love you, Lilly. Just know you can trust me. Trust us. We can fight anything together. I should've realized that before you left. You are the other half of my soul, and it took your disappearing to see that. I _need_ you. More than you'll ever know."


	5. Perfectly Overwhelming

_Italics_ are the journal entry Lilly found.  
Flashback to the start of their relationship in Lilly's POV.

* * *

_I don't know what I'm doing. After she left when I said nothing, I had to make sure my heart was still in my chest. I have never had anyone make me feel that way. It was like all my problems were fixed, it's like she saved my world. Everything seemed so perfect. I can just repeat those words all day in my head and never get tired of hearing them.  
_"_Miley, I can't live without you. I've hardly been able to look at you lately because I need more of you. I think I'm falling in love. Actually in love. You know that one guy I dated, he's a bug under your shoe."  
__Perfect. It's the only word I think of, when I think of her. Except that's just it. It's perfect. I felt so overwhelmed. She just made me feel so right; I wanted nothing but to kiss her. Except it seems to perfect, I'm waiting for a camera crew to jump out and yell 'gotcha!'  
__I –_

I read the note probably 5 times. The writing is shaky and there's a tearstain in the corner of it. I found it all crumpled in her binder. Like she crumpled it, then un-crumpled it. It was sticking out of the corner of her binder. I got jealous and thought it was a love note. It was actually a piece of paper torn out of her diary. I was just going to get all my stuff out of her locker and I'm glad I decided to that, or all of her true emotions wouldn't have been found, we probably would of fought for ages.

I read it one more time before walking into her bedroom. She was nowhere to be seen, so she had to be in Hannah's closet.

She was. I watched her sift through clothes before I called out her name. I loved just watching her.

"Miley?" She jumped. I held out the note. She just looked at it confused. "Please, is this true?" Her mouth dropped open. Her eyes opened wide. The shirt in her hands silently fell to the ground. She just stood staring at me as I moved towards her, smiling as I knew only that sort of reaction would happen if the note was true. I put my hands on her cheeks, ready to ask her again, but I didn't have to.

"Yes." Then she closed her eyes and gulped.

"Miley Rae Stewart, you should've just told me. What I said was true. I do love you more than a friend. I'm in love with you. That letter was everything I ever wanted to see, but everything I ever wanted to hear, I still haven't. Please, just say it." She gulped again, but I smiled wider as she hugged me, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist.

"I'm in love with you too, Lilly." She whispered into my ear and I shuddered.

My favorite daydream. The reason I smile in my sleep. The same dream every time I fall asleep just became my reality. I'll use her words. It's so overwhelmingly perfect. I can feel her cheek on mine. I can feel her arms around my waist. It's like the thousand other times I've held her but this time it's what I've always wanted it to mean. It doesn't just mean a hug. It means she's mine.

I took a step away from her, pulling the note out of my pocket. Staring into her eyes as I slowly unfolded it.

"I wanted nothing but to kiss her." I read off her note. Her actual words. Color rose in her cheeks and she put her hand up to her neck, rubbing it awkwardly. "I had to make sure my heart was still in my chest." She got more and more red with each word I spoke. Her arms were crossed and she was facing the sidewall. I walked back over to her; picked up the shirt she dropped and hung it over a chair. She was looking at me again. I smiled wide, slowly putting my hand over the spot on her chest where her heart should be. I saw her suck in a breath. But I laughed. She put her hand over mine.

"See, it is true." She whispered.

Her heart was beating furiously. Then she sighed and let go of my hand, backing up until she practically fell into a chair.

"I wanted to ask you but then I remembered we got in a fight. It took me forever to walk into this closet, because I knew I'd be picking out clothes and leaving to an interview without you." She paused. She had her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees. "I don't know what I was thinking. It wouldn't have been the same without you." I looked at the paper in my hands, then walked over and put it on her lap. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll go get ready. I'll be back later, as Lola. I hope Hannah will help Miley feel less overwhelmed." I bent down and she looked up. I smiled at her. She picked up the note.

"I want you to have this." Then she picked up the note and handed it to me. I stood up, winked and walked out the door to the door but turned around before leaving.

"What were you going to say after the last 'I'?" She turned around from sifting through clothes again and color was rising in her cheeks.

"I believe I was going to say, 'I think I've always been in love with her.'" Then she turned around, leaving me with my mouth hanging open. I ran out the door. I practically skipped home.

Because I think it's how I've always felt about her too. Except we were to young to realize.


End file.
